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Women: Please Stop Chasing The Ghost of Societal Expectations

(one man's opinion)

Embracing Your Authentic Self: Why Women Over 40 Should Celebrate Who They Are


Out the gate, allow me to say that this is all written from a man's point of view so no need to "come for me" with any men vs. women comments. Being accountable for what I write especially at this moment, I do not want to find myself attempting to "man-splain" anything to women that is female-related (I'm not that guy and it's disrespectful). I am presenting this article as more of an outside observational view or at best to provide encouragement and confirmation for those that will receive it.


Since I never shy away from the things that are on my mind, I decided to put pen to paper on the topic of women over a "certain age" and the seemingly never-ending descent into the "rabbit hole" called perfection. This is an issue that most men over forty simply will not have to deal with (maybe we should but another day for that topic).


As men move further down the road, we are looked at as becoming distinguished or more refined. Women, on the other hand and for the most part, are looked at as just the opposite and in an even higher number of cases, it is self-inflicted criticism.


We could spend this entire article just exploring or asking exactly "why" women place themselves in direct competition with other women of all ages and sizes. Although the answers and responses could vary, in direct competition with other women is a thing and thus would be factual for me from an observational aspect.

I know, I know, "you are only in competition with yourself and what everyone else thinks does not matter" so there. I get it and maybe that is where you are but for a lot of women, the comparison of the stages of life and image is more than real.


Let's look at topic from the age aspect of being a forty year old woman because after all, life begins there, or so they say. As women reach this milestone, they often find themselves at a crossroads. Society bombards them with messages about aging, beauty standards, and societal expectations. However, it's essential (in my opinion) for women over 40 to embrace who they are with open arms. This pivotal stage in life offers an opportunity for personal growth, self-discovery, and empowerment.


Let's travel together and explore why it's not only healthy but essential for women over 40 to embrace their authentic selves while also discussing the potential consequences of not doing so.

The Healthy Aspect

  1. Self-Acceptance: Embracing who you are after 40 involves self-acceptance. It's about recognizing your strengths, your unique qualities, and your life experiences. This self-acceptance can lead to higher self-esteem and inner contentment, which positively affects mental health and overall well-being.

  2. Confidence: As women embrace their authentic selves, they often find a newfound sense of confidence and most men find this trait very attractive. Confidence isn't about conforming to societal beauty ideals; it's about believing in your worth, intelligence, and capabilities. This increased self-assurance can lead to more fulfilling personal and professional lives.

  3. Wisdom and Experience: Age brings wisdom and a wealth of life experiences. Embracing your authentic self means acknowledging the lessons learned along the way. Sharing these experiences can be empowering, inspiring others, and fostering deeper connections with friends and loved ones. You see, you now have said wisdom, the resources as well as the means to do everything your twenty-two-year-old self could do. The difference is that now, you know better.

  4. Emotional Resilience: By accepting who you are, you become emotionally resilient. You develop the ability to handle life's challenges with grace and poise. This resilience can help you navigate the complexities of aging and the changing dynamics of relationships.

  5. Community: Embarcing the first four points brings you to a space of creating community. You are not the only woman in this thought conundrum so being open to connecting with others minus any pressure starts with you connecting with where you are and not where society says you should be.

The Unhealthy Aspect

  1. Self-Comparison: Not embracing your authentic self can lead to constant self-comparison, which can be detrimental to self-esteem. The pressure to conform to unrealistic beauty standards or societal norms can result in feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.

  2. Missed Opportunities: Focusing on external expectations rather than your authentic self may lead to missed opportunities for personal growth and happiness. You might find yourself living a life that doesn't align with your true desires and passions.

  3. Unfulfilled Relationships: Hiding behind a facade or not embracing your authentic self can hinder the development of meaningful, authentic relationships. When you're not being true to yourself, it's challenging to connect genuinely with others.

  4. Increased Stress: The effort to maintain a false image can be stressful and exhausting. Stress, in turn, can negatively impact physical and mental health, leading to a reduced quality of life. When you embrace being you, others will as well (remember confidence is attractive to most men).

  5. Unobtainable Goals: You are not the same person you were when your were in your teens, twenties or thirthies. That voice in your head that keeps telling you that you have to get back there in order to be seen or valued is just loud enough to drown out the voice that is telling you that you are fine right where you are. Which voice you will listen to is another story.

The Wrap-Up

Women over 40 should wholeheartedly embrace who they are. It's not only healthy but essential for their well-being and personal growth. Embracing your authentic self brings self-acceptance, confidence, wisdom, and emotional resilience. On the other hand, not doing so can lead to self-comparison, missed opportunities, unfulfilled relationships, and increased stress.


It's important to remember that aging is a natural process, and each stage of life comes with its unique beauty and opportunities.

Loving and embracing your authentic self allows you to navigate this phase with grace, confidence, and a sense of purpose. So, celebrate your age, your experiences, and your individuality – because you are truly remarkable just as you are!


I'm never one to shy away from sharing my mind but I would like to know your thoughts on this topic. Feel free to leave it here to share. You can also email me directly at the information listed below to comment or to tell me what's on your mind. Please follow me on my blog and you can get these articles before everyone else.


Remember, when you are ready to elevate your relationship or your life, I will be ready to show you how. (in person or virtually)


Be well,

I Am Coach Kenn!

p: 531-300-1324


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